It’s tough finding the right people to help lead the country, so we’ve decided to give President-Elect Trump a few ideas:
Secretary of State: Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy is a legend. Beloved by the people of San Francisco, his charming manner, ability to stay on top of the latest happenings, and not to mention his fine collection of leather bound books, it’s just a natural fit to see him stand in as Trump’s Secretary of State.
Secretary of the Treasury: Scrooge McDuck
Right now with a mutli-trillion dollar deficit, what the United States needs is someone who not only loves money but who hates to waste it! Scrooge McDuck is a natural fit for both of these categories.
Secretary of Defense: Bane
Sure, Bane is technically a supervillain, but America loves second chances. Why not give a second chance to Bane to allow him to use some of his more… unique skills to help defend Americas?
Attorney General: The Man of Steel
The Attorney General is chief law enforcement offer in the United States, so who better to take on that role than Super Man!? Granted, the Attorney General is also the chief lawyer, so Clark Kent would need to hit the books for a few years and pass the bar, but we have faith he would prevail!
Secretary of the Interior: Clark Griswold
We all know that Clark Griswold loves national parks, so who better to take responsibility for the management and conservation of most federal land and natural resources?
Secretary of Agriculture: Jolly Green Giant
He’s big, he’s green, and he loves good produce. The Jolly Green Giant is a natural fit for the Secretary of Agriculture.
Secretary of Commerce: Bruce Wayne
This is a role that Trump won’t need as much help with, but why not get the most successful businessman in Gotham to help the United States navigate the waters of commerce?
Secretary of Labor: Thing
You’ve got to hand it to Thing. He’s constantly on the go, and he could certainly represent the little people. While he might need an interpreter, Thing would certainly help with shaping laws around unions and workplaces.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Evil
A doctor is a natural fit to take the lead over important agencies such as the FDA, CDC, National Institutes of Health, and Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. Granted, Dr. Evil got his PHD in evilness, but surely they covered a few things related to health in there too.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Avon Barksdale
While housing and urban development are another area that Trump won’t need a lot of guidance, we believe Avon Barksdale would be a good fit for this role. He certainly knows about developing communities. In The Wire, he builds a strong community in West Baltimore with a focus on financially securing his and his employees’ futures. These skills would easily translate into housing and urban development.
Secretary of Transportation: Optimus Prime
Optimus Prime understands more sides of the transportation issues than any human possibly could. He is transportation.
Secretary of Energy: Doc Brown
Great Scott! There couldn’t be a better person to take this job! Let’s see if the flux capacitor can power anything else besides time travel.
Secretary of Education: Albus Dumbledore
Sure he’d need a green card, but after helping defeat Voldemort, fixing the US education system should be a breeze for Albus Dumbledore. Learning is magical, and nobody understands that better than Dumbledore.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Captain America
Captain America has been a United States super soldier since World War II. If anyone can understand the needs of our vets, it’s him.
Secretary of Homeland Security: Ray Donovan
Donovan is a “fixer” meaning he gets things done. That’s who I want taking care of homeland security.
With a cabinet like this, we’re guaranteed to make America great again! Tell us in the comments below if there’s anyone you think might be better.